Let’s face it, pick-up lines never work. Even the clever ones are cheesy, and they only make a woman think you’re some hackneyed pickup artist. (Sidenote: isn’t it weird that grammar uses a hyphen for the line, but a conjoined word for the artist? You so crazy, English language. Well we can do that too, with these pick-upgrades.) Anyway, here are some one-liners that are a little more likely to succeed, since they’re forthright and treat a gal like more than just another pretty face with a lot of patience for your contrived approach.
- Are you from Tennessee? Because you’re the only ten I see here who politely laughs at bad puns.
- Are you wearing space pants? Because you look tough and smart enough to be an astronaut whose ass is out of this world.
- Can I borrow a quarter? My mom said to call home when I fell in love, and we live in 1995 when people didn’t own cellphones.
- Did you know they changed the alphabet? They put U and I together. It actually changes very little, on a practical level.
- Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again & get to know the real you over the course of several weeks?
- Do you have a library card? Because I’m checking you out…a book you will love, as a fan of complex roman a clefs.
- I wish I was one of your tears, so I would only have to watch the final five minutes of your sappy movies with you.
- That shirt’s very becoming on you. Of course, if I were on you, I’d be one of your stylish fashion choices too.
- The ladies call me Milk, because I do your body good, and I smell like the underside of a cow.
- You must be tired, because you’ve been running through my mind all day…working for humanitarian relief.
By Brendan McGinley, Re-posted from ManCaveDaily.com