1. Every time you take a deep hit you spiral into a coughing fit that ends with you doubled over a toilet in a stranger’s steamed-up bathroom

2. Your girlfriend no longer finds it amusing or cute to watch you play air guitar to Phish’s entire live album Hampton Comes Alive.

3. You’ve lost all ability to figure out your dry dealer’s handshake or follow him in basic conversation.

4. Your “partying” metabolism has slowed down to crawl rendering you a foggy-headed basket case for the following three days. “Am I wearing pants?” becomes your temporary mantra.

5. This ain’t your college joint, my friend.  Marijuana is like microchips–exponentially more powerful every year.

6. People constantly tell you you’re just like Matthew McConaughey’s character in Dazed and Confused but without the nice tan or cool car.

7. Sperm quality. Yeah I said it. You’re at the age where your swimmers shouldn’t be floating in bong water .

8. Your “cool” cultural touchstones for pot culture ended at Half Baked and Doctor Dre. Wiz Khalifa, Danny Brown, Action Bronson and Kid Cudi mean absolutely nothing to you.

9. The last time you smoked-up to enhance your Matrix-watching you wound up balled up in a corner questioning your own existence…and convinced Morpheus was playing Laurence Fishburne playing Morpheus.

10. Last time you had the munchies you found yourself counting Weight Watchers points on the back of bag of Funyuns.

By Amit Wehle, Re-Posted from ManCaveDaily